Everything I need to do before moving to New York this fall
My thoughts on Austin vs New York and a checklist to keep me accountable ahead of my move!
In case you missed it, I’ve spent the last year and a half splitting my time between New York and my hometown of Austin. After nearly two decades in Dallas and a few years of not feeling happy there, I decided to make a change. At the time, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to be - my family lives in Austin, but I was so eager to live somewhere with a lot of opportunities to meet new people and with a lot of interesting, exciting things for me to do! So I decided to spend time in both cities in hopes that would help me make a choice.
New York is a lot of things, but one thing it isn’t is boring. While I was hopeful Austin would feel different than Dallas, it unfortunately really hasn’t. Most people I know in Austin are married with kids, or the very least coupled up, and don’t do much out of their usual routine. Because Austin is not a walking city and people don’t need to necessarily find community within their neighborhoods here, it definitely feels more challenging to meet new people… and unless you’re a big fan of nature (Zilker, Barton Springs, etc) or obsessed with live music, there’s not a whole lot to do here (at least that’s how I’ve felt!). If you love living in Austin, I’m happy for you! I love it in many ways, but don’t think it’s the ideal place for me to live at this particular junction in my life.
In addition to the aforementioned lack of things for me to do, there exists a constant pressure here (both subliminally and directly) to get married and have kids. While I’m used to it from people asking me about my dating life over the years, one element I didn’t expect to be so pervasive was in my conversations with other women here. A number of the single women I know in Austin only seem to want to complain about being single, how terrible dating is these days and/or only make plans that revolve around meeting men. While I completely relate to that feeling (and I’ve been single a longggg time), the constant conversations and apparent need to discuss it/complain have gotten really old. It’s certainly not *everyone*, but it happens often enough to make me question whether this is where/who I want to be spending my time with. Life is short, I want to make sure I’m living it to the fullest regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not. I feel it’s important for me to say that if meeting someone, getting married and having kids is something you want to do - that is amazing! I’m all for getting whatever you want out of life, and I’m not ruling any of that out for myself. I’m not talking about life choices here, just the types of conversations I can’t seem to escape when I’m in this part of the country. It’s exhausting!
There’s just so much pressure in Texas for women to settle down, so it’s understandable women feel the stress and weight of that - the sense of urgency is palpable. But I find I don’t have the same kinds of conversations with as many women in New York. My friends who live in New York seem to be more fulfilled by so many other things in their lives (whether that be their friendships, jobs, travel, hobbies/activities in the city, etc!), and dating doesn’t appear to dictate their happiness as much as it seems to here in Texas.
Is the dating scene just as bad in New York? Probably. But because there are so many other amazing things to do and communities to be part of, a romantic relationship isn’t going to make or break your lifestyle and everyday contentment like it seems to in the south. That’s not to say dating doesn’t get discussed with my friends in New York, but it’s not the end-all-be-all of every conversation. I should mention that two other single friends of mine who have been in Austin about ten years each are also moving elsewhere this year! They feel the same way I do about being here. We all love Austin and have family here, but don’t think it’s the best place to be if you’re a single woman in your 30’s.
I like to think of myself as a fairly dynamic person with a lot of interests, a love of people and a curious, adventurous spirit. Simply put, New York is the perfect place for me! Since I began splitting my time in November ‘23, I’ve enjoyed so many new experiences - not only with existing friends in the city, but on my own. I’ve joined a neighborhood athletic club where I’ve made a few new friends I can grab drinks with at the last minute after a crazy day. I’ve gone to broadway shows and restaurant-hosted supper club dinners solo and left with a number or a new dinner pal. I’ve sat at the bar at great restaurants and had unexpectedly amazing conversations with total strangers. It’s a city that fosters community, celebrates individuality and encourages engagement.
So that’s all a long-winded way of saying I’m excited to have made a decision to move to Manhattan full time by the end of the year. I’ve got a lot to do before I take the leap, so I thought I’d take you through a bit of that process here! From the financial and business decisions I’ll need to make, to what I’m going to be looking for in a new apartment once my lease ends in November, and everything in between, keep reading for the full rundown of my plan and my moving checklist. I’ll be discussing some things I don’t necessarily want plastered on my public feed, so I’m putting the rest of this newsletter behind the paywall!
PS: I’ve decided to move my weekly catch-up podcasts to Thursday - that gives me more time to record good content for you vs on Monday, when I’m coming off of the weekend and have one day to plan and record! I’m looking forward to recording more topical episodes soon too. ICYMI, this podcast is only for paid subscribers! Now without further ado, let’s get into it…