2026 brain dump
A collective stream of consciousness about what I'm thinking about, hoping and planning for this year!
Today’s newsletter is a LONG one, but a good one. Consider it a brain dump of sorts - everything I’m thinking about, planning for, looking forward to, goals I have and new things I’m trying in 2026. From my dating life, to work, to health and life in New York City, here’s everything you need to know:
DATING
You want more personal content? You got it.
While dating has not been a huge priority for me in the past, this year I’ve decided to be more intentional about it. Now that I’m settled in New York and wanting to put roots down here, I’m ready to put myself out there! I’ve been on Raya for several years (and was on Hinge & The League before that), and I can count on one hand the number of dates I’ve been on from it. I’d been paying $50 a month for God knows how long and not getting what I wanted out of it. There were times when I was more passive on the apps, but others where I dedicated time to actively looking and starting conversations only to have the other person not respond, or if they did, have a one-sided conversation that ended in no in-person meeting.
A month ago I was looking through my subscriptions and realized how much I was paying and decided to downgrade my membership to the cheapest option, which is still a whopping $25 a month. Crazy, right? I’m happy to pay streaming services all of my money because I watch TV and movies constantly, but for an app that I have put time and effort into and gotten nothing worthwhile in return? No thank you. Good riddance! I decided on January 1st to cancel my Raya membership. If I ever want to get back on Raya I’ll have to apply and get approved all over again - there is a waitlist, after all. It’s supposedly more exclusive, but let me tell you, it’s just as tedious as all of the other apps. Not worth the money IMO!
I’m not saying goodbye to dating apps forever, but I’ve realized it’s not the best method for me personally and I’d like to try something else. For one thing, I’m public and Raya links directly to your Instagram account… so anyone who took a look at my profile on Raya had a direct line to thousands of public pictures and stories, and access to all of my info and content on the web without actually having to meet me. It’s easy to take a quick look at my Instagram account and make a snap judgement about who I am, based on the fact that I’m posting about myself publicly as a content creator. As misogynistic and frustrating as it is to admit, there are still negative connotations, associations and assumptions about my job and the industry I work in. I’ve gone out with certain guys and have even been told by a close guy friend of mine that they would never date an influencer. While I’m not saying I’d want to date that kind of guy anyway, the fact that my job is front and center on dating apps is not ideal. I don’t want to lead with that, and regardless of whether my Instagram account is linked (like on Hinge, for example, it wasn’t), my first name is unusual enough for people to find me in a quick Google search.
Secondly, to me it is ALL about chemistry. There are plenty of times I’ve met someone out (whether through a friend or at a bar) and had mad chemistry, but if I’d seen them on a dating app I might not have swiped on them for one reason or another. We’re all a little pickier online because there are endless options! And it’s hard to summarize who you are and your entire personality into one page of prompts, photos and self-edited bios. Unless you’re a comedian or have wildly creative prompts, it’s hard to stand out on the apps while also staying true to yourself. Just like I’m sure plenty of people have not swiped on me for any number of reasons, I am similarly picky and make a quick decision not to swipe based on the photos people choose to include (for example - gym selfies… yuck), a negative or sexual sounding prompt, or things that seem like red flags from the jump. There’s a chance I’m dismissing people I’d really get along well with and perhaps their profile is doing them a disservice - that’s just the nature of dating online. It’s impossible to get the full picture - it’s not until you meet someone in person and see what the chemistry, conversation and body language is like that you feel a real connection anyway…
So with that in mind, I’ve decided to embark on a bit of a research project… a social experiment, if you will. The best part? I’m going to bring you along for the ride.